Why not to buy your four year old a mobile telephone
- It is not possible to conduct a fruitful conversation with a four year old, as you will know if you have ever tried
- Four-year-olds rarely, if ever, have information to impart of such signifigance that it cannot wait until they are five
- A Firefly costs £60 without a sim card
- Your child should always be in the company of a responsible adult who has a phone you didn’t have to pay for
- A four-year old with its own phone will spend all day attempting to contact Pocoyo
- Four-year-olds never hang up
- 52% of children between the ages of five and nine already own a mobile. Chances are you will have to buy the child a phone next year anyway, and they won't want a pink toy that doesn’t YouTube.
- If you don’t know where your four-year-old is, there’s no point in ringing him. He doesn’t know where he is either.
- For much less money you can get tiny T-shirts with your phone number and the word REWARD printed on them
- Four-year-olds are enough trouble as it is
- The last thing we want to do is give them the means to organize
© Tim Dowling